Zelgadis Graywords

So, I'm having a lot of fun playing Zel hit with Alain's lovey-dovey perfume...

Though it's hitting Zel in a weak point. Zel's always been pretty gruff and bad with emotions, because of spending a lot of time looking like he was in town to burn it to the ground and steal chickens. The Slayers canon had him develop a lot of feelings towards his new friends...

I also play Zel as having feelings for his friend, Amelia which he put off acting on while he was a chimera for various reasons. Post-Sabra/pre-Thusia this version of Zel never really got around to doing anything about them, which... part of him is relieved by (since he figures he'll be mourned less*).

Things like 'the punch is spiked by aphrodisiacs' Zel has brushed off as 'and let us never speak of this again', but this is slightly different, as 'someone acting twitterpated' is something Zel's had happen before and he kind of wants. And, after coming to Thusia, he's assumed in some kind of melodramatic fashion, that he can't have because 'how do I date'. (Clearly he only had one shot in the entire multiverse*.)

It's not even Wander -- he doesn't know who Wander is besides 'someone I've seen around Thusia'. It's certainly not that he's going to feel like an idiot after this wears off. It's kind of the 'I sort of didn't mind this if I ignore the gods screwing with me again, what do I do'?

(As an aside, I tend to play Zel as slightly bisexual, but not terribly comfortable with the idea. The Slayers verse doesn't seem to be all 'gays go to hell', but homosexuality does seem to be played for laughs and as a weird thing than as 'just the way things are'. So he's not bothered by half of his Sabra friends having boyfriends, but it's still not something he really knows how to deal with in himself, except when gods are messing with his head/he gets old Sabra memories of gay sex/etc.)

So, have a confused former chimera trying to deal with confusing feelings. This is why being an angtsy loner can stunt your social development, people. He totally just needs to get a friend (or Tare) to set him up on a series of blind dates until he gets over it or swears off romance in disgust.

* Zel is still occasionally an idiot.

I just had a realization about Zel, which was that this is the first time in a long period that he's not felt broken -- still a little cracked and scarred and grieving, but not broken.

( Long History )